Sex in the office: 8 best places and poses for you and a nice colleague
- Евгений Сорока
- 19 июл. 2018 г.
- 6 мин. чтения
Even in times of universal collapse, eternal values remain. For example, sex with a colleague in the workplace. So let's plunge into this fascinating world of intimate-labor achievements and determine the best places and poses.
To be or not to be sex and relationships in the workplace is a controversial issue. Opinions on this issue are divided in almost two. According to a poll conducted by the dating site eDarling, 58% of the collars of any color are flirting at work, but only in 38% of cases it came to sex. And even among 42% of the bores who never flirt with their colleagues, many fantasize about coitus with them (55% of the respondents admitted in the corresponding fantasies).
All the "pros" and "against" we will not weigh - it's up to you. However, carefully consider the pros and cons of possible places for coloring gray workdays.
The same eDarling found out from their users where in the office they would like to have sex. Depending on gender, opinions were divided.
Best places to have sex in the office

We will pass through these places of labor glory and evaluate their suitability for intimate adventures. It is immediately clear that it will be difficult to retire, but this is also a kind of bonus. Sex in a public place is a very topical exercise, providing a good dose of adrenaline.
Attention!
Before you irrevocably surrender to your instincts, we strongly recommend that you familiarize yourself with the security system of the room. Not to commit a genius robbery, but that the video with your experiments did not get on YouTube, along with depriving you of pride and work. Simply put, there are no cameras - well, there are cameras - find a place where they are not. Some offices are auditioning. Sometimes secret. Therefore, being quieter than a printer is your first priority.
Desktop

Brush off the stapler, sharpener, wireless mouse and get hold of the partner right on the desktop - is this not a dream ?! If you have a whole room (and not necessarily yours), then for you two open up infinite opportunities. Today you are a tough boss, and she is your subordinate in every sense. Tomorrow she is a languid boss, and you are a diligent and executive officer. Roles, roles, and again roles. The familiar expressions "report on the table" and "today's prize" will play bright colors and gain a new meaning.
But, alas, not everyone works in a separate office with a leather chair and blinds. Someone has divided the workspace with other people for years, and then this location will probably have to be deleted. However, you can try to hide the partner under the table. And let colleagues on openup, looking at you, wonder at guessing what happened to you: did you see the dollar exchange rate again or did a huge amount of coffee lead to a heart attack?
Negotiated

During the day boring conversations about business here sounded, but towards the end of the working day the spacious room with the big table remains free. If you, the lucky one, work on the twentieth floor of one of Moscow-City skyscrapers, turn your partner face to the magnificent window all the way, for nothing will give her more pleasure than contemplation of the solemn panorama of the metropolis, while feeling your quick greedy caresses. But if your office is on the second floor, and its windows overlook the gray little street of the outskirts of Tambov, protect the girl from reality and make yourself look so that you look into each other's eyes.
The conversation room is usually locked, and that's fine. It is worth a couple of times to spend money on chocolate cleaning manager Baba Vale, so that everything was in chocolate yourself.
Utility room

Ideal for busy and noisy offices, where seclusion is too difficult a task. In the utility room, as a rule, there is little space, many shelves, and a bunch of different trash. Among him, most likely, there will not be a sofa, a table, or a luxurious bed with a velvet canopy. I'll have to press the partner to something neostromu and neshatkomu, nestling behind. Say to yourself "in the dark and not offended" and boldly drag her into the realm of boxes, a mop and broken chairs. Let your love with her light up this light forgotten place.
Restroom

The main advantage of the restroom is almost guaranteed privacy and accessibility, minus a toilet that can scare off a particularly squeamish partner. However, having settled down as in our illustration, this defect can be leveled.
Consider, if the toilet in your office consists of adjacent cubicles with cardboard walls, then sex will probably be too extreme. But if it is a couple of clean individual rooms, then we do not understand that you have been stopped until now.
Smoking room

We do not advise you to be very flattered, as 0% of women called an attractive place for sex. However, hope dies last, and you yourself know that from the beautiful half you can expect anything. Especially some people like to boast that a blind wave of passion covers them as easily as a grandmother's blanket.
If a girl who quits smoking suddenly expresses an acute desire to indulge in an old habit, offer her an alternative. Stand at the entrance and hold the door handle firmly. Be sure to sacrifice something soft under your knees. And do not care what you saved this jumper for three months, you're a gentleman! To the malicious knock of hungry for nicotine colleagues, answer that smoking is an intimate process for you and in general you are overworked, I want to stay alone away from the worldly bustle, meditating on a smoldering light.
Kitchen

According to all laws of the world order, where food is a person. In the kitchen, someone is always spinning, trying to get away from work duties, to prolong one's freedom with one more cup of coffee or simply to have a crush of gratuitous corporate candy in an attack of anguish. Unfortunately, it's not always you or your chosen one. The advantages of the kitchen are in a large number of surfaces suitable for putting a partner on them and, spreading her legs, get settled between them. Better, by the way, do it with your back to the door - the person who enters does not see anything superfluous. Only your courageous back is framed by two charming legs.
Copying machine
The city was attacked by ebola and only you and she came out to work? Tried all possible places, including the recklessly closed office cleaner general? Looking for adventure? Do you adore giggling during sex? Then the copier is for you.
Feel free to put a packet of paper in the receiver (pre-stored for this case), charge 50 copies and enjoy the stunning backlighting. What will you do with thirty pictures of her priests and twenty pictures of her breasts - it's yours. But we warn you that modern art is not popular with everyone. Prepare for technical difficulties and unjustified expectations. In addition, the paint in the car will end very quickly after this.
Elevator
"The kiss that raises to heaven" and "falling into the abyss of passion" only in the elevator are of literal meaning. The button "stop" will provide you with unforgettable minutes "between heaven and earth". But if the elevator is too big and too demanded, it will only be possible to take advantage of it only before the working day or after, having stayed in the office supposedly for overtime work. (But, lingering often, you can pass for a workaholic or a deeply unhappy person.)
Elevator - one of the few places where your super-speed shooting will be very handy. Time in the elevator is worth its weight in gold. A short skirt, stockings and easily shifted to the side of your partner's panties - it's great to save it. But if the yard is winter, and the lady of the heart is responsible for wearing pants with fleece and dense thermal underwear - leave the idea of movie sex to better times.
If you (oh, miracle!) Get stuck with it not for fun - take decisive action immediately, because even if you can not bring your clothes in order on time - no one will judge you for trying to pass the time in a dark enclosed space. In a stressful situation, much is forgivable. Little did the girl suddenly have an attack of claustrophobia, and she asked you to distract her from bad thoughts?
Total
As expected - for sex, all the places are good, choose the taste. And even if you get someone's eyes, only 5% of hypothetical colleagues will seriously condemn. The rest will treat with understanding. (And absolutely everything is with envy). So if you are not afraid of any problems with the employer, no difficulties in the relationship, or gossip of colleagues - we sincerely wish you good luck. After all, as the old folk proverb says: "Just be afraid - do not take off your pants!" (This was then invented about the wolves and the forest.)